Tuesday, July 28, 2015




     Once upon a time, as they say in the fairy tale industry, there was a farmer whose name was “Mustafa.” Now why his mother named him that is a whole different fairy tale for another time! Suffice it to say that “Mustafa” was his name and as he grew up, he became one of the best farmers in the land. He grew the best of everything. No matter what he touched, it seemed to turn to gold! And he in turn would take his produce to market and it always fetched the best price. “Mustafa” was known far and wide as someone to admire.
     As “Mustafa” became more prosperous, he acquired animals to help him plow and cultivate his land and carry his produce to market. Most of the time he chose well and his animals served him without complaint. He fed them what they required, tended to their needs, treated them as his friends and named them all. Finally, he bought an “ass” to help him haul his cart to market! Unfortunately, the “ass” and “Mustafa” never seemed to bond. You see, the “ass” suffered from a bad case of “Stubborism” and “Mustafa” soon developed an equally bad case of “Anti-Stubbornism” so the two became adversaries instead of friends! As time went along, people would ask him what he named his “ass” and “Mustafa” would hang his head and say he did not know what to call him. Finally, when someone asked about the “ass” they would just refer to him as “His Ass” and the name stuck! It was always, “How is ‘His Ass’ today?!” “Mustafa” would shake his head and sadly say, “’His Ass’ is suffering from ‘Stubborism’ again!”
     One fair day when “Mustafa” really needed “His Ass” to haul the cart to market the animal refused to budge! He closed his eyes and dozed on the spot. No amount of pleading, swatting, kicking or screaming would get the cussed creature to co-operate! He just stood there! Finally, at wits end, “Mustafa” buried his head in his hands and began to weep, “Woe is me, how am I going to get my produce to market when I cannot get “His Ass” in gear?!” The people were sympathetic to his plight, but none could offer any meaningful advice.
     As “Mustafa” wrung his hands, a humble little Bumble Bee happened along and landed on “Mustafa’s” shoulder. “Why lamentest thee so much, ‘Mustafa’?” asked the Bee. And “Mustafa” proceeded to pour out his soul. “I see,” said the Bumble Bee, “perhaps I can be of some help!” “Mustafa” was touched but merely said, “And how can a humble creature like you hope to deal with a beast like ‘His Ass’”? “Well,” said the Bumble Bee, “one never knows until one tries!” So the Bee buzzed off and made his presence known to “His Ass.” After buzzing around the animal’s face, “His Ass” opened one eye to see what was disturbing his siesta. He found the Bumble Bee very annoying. He quickly snapped his teeth at the creature and the Bee buzzed out of range. In so doing he inadvertently took his first step! The Bee landed in an ear and bit “His Ass” and then flew back to the face of the animal! The response was as expected: “His Ass” took several steps and snapped at the Bee again! Finally, he realized he was moving and suddenly went back to his “Stubbornism” again! The Bumble Bee tired of the game and decided to be more forceful! He buzzed around to the backside of “His Ass” and bit him square on the tenderest part of his butt! “His Ass” let out a loud lament as the Bumble Bee continued to attack his dignity! “His Ass” tried his best to get away and the harder he tried, the faster he went and poor “Mustafa” had to hang on for dear life! Well, good people, to make a long story short, “Mustafa” the farmer got “His Ass” in gear and they made it to the market in time to sell all the produce without mishap. When it came time to go home, the busy Bumble Bee once again prodded “His Ass” and pretty soon he trotted along like he was supposed to. From that day on all “Mustafa” had to do was tell “His Ass” he would send for the Bee and there was no more trouble! And when people wanted to know how “Mustafa” managed to accomplish it all, he just sang the praises of his little buzzing friend who knew how to deal with a bad case of “Stubbornism!” To show his gratefulness, Mustafa” always made sure he had a crop of flowers on his farm for his little friend the Bumble Bee!
     The Moral of my Story, Good People, is that sometimes the easiest solution to a complicated problem is a simple one! Can you imagine with me for just a minute how easy it would be to restore peace in the Middle East if this story’s principle was applied? Substitute “Semitism” for “Stubborism” and “Anti-Semitism” for “Anti-Stubbornism” and Israel for “His Ass” and the Bumble Bee for the United States of America! Wouldn’t it be amazing to see the results?!
       Harald Hesstvedt Scharnhorst
                 Copyright 2015

                                         The Cholla Cactus In Full Bloom!

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