Friday, July 29, 2016



I love fairy tales! They are found in all languages, among all peoples. They give insight into character and provide humor at its finest!
The Norse have a tale called "THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF" and this is a parody on the tale!

For those who are not familiar with the story, it can be found on the internet. However, a super-short version goes like this: The Three Billy Goats Gruff were headed for a mountain pasture to grow big and fat on the rich grass. They had to cross a bridge to get there, and under the bridge lived a nasty, nasty TROLL!  When the Smallest crossed, the Troll threatened to eat him, and the little goat assured the Troll that his bigger brother was bigger and tastier. The dumb, greedy Troll fell for that line. When the Middle Size crossed the bridge the same thing happened! The dumb troll was fooled again! When the Biggest Billy Goat Gruff appeared, the Troll got his comeuppance, getting booted into the river by someone bigger than him! Greed, it seems, is universal!

In our political side-show arena today, we have THE THREE SILLY GOATS BLUFF! None of them are particularly tasty, none of them have anything useful to say or do, but grow fat on the green grass produced by the rest of the population. They are some of the biggest phonies on the planet! The one masquerades as a Cannibal King from the South Seas who loves to rule by fiat! 

He is famous for "Dupe and Change," his marvelous policy of a fine future for America and the world. He is known for his love of teleprompters! He is also known for writing illegal, dictatorial and stupid Presidential Executive Orders designed to circumvent the rule of Constitutional Law! And he loves to appoint his political cronies to jobs for which they have little qualification,  except to turn everything upside down! In short, he is a dream machine! What is there NOT to like about this man and his monkey-shines??!

The other is a wanna-be feminist who hates women, and who snuggles up to the Cannibal King, saying she is making history by showing off her lying eyes!  Don't they just make the most purr-fect, dreamy couple?! Just imagine with me for a minute, if you will, the dark, dreary liars and lawbreakers they could produce together! She is best known as the Killer of Benghazi, the distributor of Secret e mails, and being Too Big to Prosecute for any crime!
No wonder His Royal Majesty thinks she is the only candidate "fit to rule!" All she needs is a crown and we can call her "Queen Pillary!" What a gem! What is even more inspiring is the chanting, praising Sheeple out there, egging her on! I wonder what they are being paid for their performance? Yes sir, good people, all we need is another four years of these two "Silly Goats Bluff!"

Oh, but wait, there is one more out there! He is the big overgrown, pompous one, THE BIGGEST BILLY GOAT OF THEM ALL! And he has the biggest horns with which he will dispatch all the problems of the world! Folks, it does not get any better than this!

Ronald/McDonald Dump is probably the most interesting, and the biggest Billy Goat to come along in a long, long time! He has a history of being a big business man, has gone broke off and on, has lots of connections that are suspect, has a huge sense of humor, has brought up subjects considered taboo in the press, and in general, has managed to attract the attention of the electorate! He is most famous for his line "You're Fired!" 

So, now that the "candidates" have all been "selected," they all engage in the time-tested game of mud-slinging! Its bread and circus time, folks!  Enjoy it while you can, because absolutely nothing will change, only the name on the door and the date on the calendar. Wars will continue, living beyond our means will continue, our borders will stay open and our problems will grow. Would I LIKE to see some honest changes? Oh, yes! But, trends in motion often stay in motion until something very hard changes them. It will be interesting to watch the show, of course, and see IF Ronald/McDonald Dump will succeed in firing anyone! So, enjoy it while you can!

*  * *
I hope your will excuse me...but I do not intend to take this side-show by the THREE SILLY GOATS BLUFF too seriously. I think I will go out and tend to my beans, tomatoes, cucumbers and squash instead! They never lie to me, are true to their kind, are always productive and provide me with tasty, nutritious food. Now that, good people, is true politics and good economics at its best!

Billy Goat artwork is taken from a Norwegian Language book for Fourth Graders, the cartoon "His Royal Majesty" is signed by the cartoonist, and the other images are from CNN. 
Parody by Harald Hesstvedt Scharnhorst 

Thursday, July 7, 2016



Five lil Politicians Swimming in the Pond....
Follow Me, Follow Me
Says the One with the Wand....
I always know what's Best, 
And soon You will See....
What's Good for All the Rest!

"So what if I gave a away a few classified secrets? What's a few classified secrets among friends??! What two people know is no longer a secret anyway, since now everyone knows, so what's all the fuss about?" said front-running candidate Pillary Plimpton as she shook her hair-do in disgust. "We make entirely too much about little mistakes. We all make them, you know!" she concluded.

Senator Straight-man, who is noted for his outspoken opposition to promoting homosexuality, challenged the front runner, saying that excuse would  not "hold water!" 
"Look at Smedley Branning, who is sitting in Leavenworth Military Prison chewing his cud, because he leaked secrets to the press," the exasperated senator pointed out, who never passes up an opportunity to slam Pillary. "Why should you be treated differently?"

The Pillary Campaign was quick criticize Senator Straight-man as a shameless, rabid "homophobe!" The Campaign further pointed out that Pillary is an "insider" that holds the higher moral ground, therefore she is held to a different level of accounting than the average person! Besides, everyone knows that Senator Straight-man was just playing "gutter-politics," as usual!

The senator angrily retorted that Sergeant Cloe Smergdahl is being given a military court martial for dereliction of duty, desertion, collaborating with the enemy and other alleged offenses. Why should Pillary not undergo a similar process in the civilian courts?

And the Pillary Campaign noted that she had been grilled mercilessly by the finest minds at the FBI  (Federal Bureau of Incompetence!) and they rightfully concluded that no crime had taken place. After all, mistakes are not crimes, Pillary pointed out. The FBI agrees, she said. Besides, Pillary further pointed out, "I have to run, you know, because if I do not run, who will save us from that terrible racist Donald Dump?! He is a beast who is the least qualified person to run and 'I am the Greatest,'" she concluded, borrowing a line made famous by world-class boxer Muhammad "Christian" Bali!

Senator Straight-man ruefully noted that as President, "Pillary Plimpton might make a lot more mistakes!" We cannot afford her as a leader in Washington, he maintained. "It is too important a job for an error-prone woman!"  While that drew predictable charges of sexism from the Pillary Campaign, nothing of substance was alluded to!

 In the meantime, Social Media Tycoon Smiley Yuckerberg who runs one of the world's largest social media sites lamented how Donald Dump wanted to build a wall to keep out the "riff and raff" from south of our border. We need "to get along better than that," he maintained. Pillary agrees, "Read my lips, no new walls!" Meantime, Yuckerberg's neighbors on the Island Nation of Hay-Why-ee are up in arms because Yuckie is building a six-foot wall around HIS estate! Mocking Yuckie, his neighbors say, "We need to get along better than that!" To which Yuckie's staff replied that if the neighbors were that concerned about the view, they should have bought the estate themselves! Now folks, that oughta-hold-em! (Not really; Yuckie's
staff forgot to point out that others not as well endowed with money, could hardly afford the place!)

Well, good people, that is our parody from today's world of wacky politics! Isn't it nice to live in a free country where everything goes and our fearless leaders are fearless, because they are free to be, and think the rest of us are 
too stupid to notice, comment or object??!

Take a "Gander" at the world of our "leaders," folks!

Photographs, Poem and Parody by
Harald Hesstvedt Scharnhorst

Wednesday, July 6, 2016



Happy Fourth of July, Courtesy of FBI Fireworks!

"It is so nice to see the Federal Bureau of Incompetence is on the job, making their wonderful, praise-worthy decision regarding Pillary Plimton's Email Scandal!" So said Senator Bullshits-ski in Washington DC (District of Corruption) in his response to a reporter's question about the decision. "After all," he continued, "Everyone knows its was just another attempt by Donald Dump to discredit one of the finest leaders ever to grace our shores!"

Wow, the Washington Merry-go-Round is at it again, with our top leaders saying exactly the right things at the right time! Undoubtedly, supporters of Plimpton will breathe a collective sigh of relief, now that this so-called "scandal" is behind us! What is there not to like or trust about such fine, moral, upstanding leaders?!

Even President Ebony, the Gorilla look-alike in the "Black House" in Washington made it plain when he gushed unabashedly that Pillary was the only candidate fit to rule! So now, he maintained, our great land can look forward to another four more years of great prosperity! That way, "dupe and change," which the president so admires, may be expected to continue!

Also getting into the act was Senator Change-my-Mind, who takes a position on just about everything and then, naturally, changes it! Now, he states that he would be proud to serve under a woman who is in a position to bring the exalted fairer sex into its rightful position of leadership! Men's days are numbered, the good senator maintains, and so therefore women need to put their best foot forward! Naturally, Plimpton is the best example of courageous, honest and moral leadership the senator concluded.

Yes, good people, that is today's latest parody from Washington, District of Corruption. Don't complain, smile and take it "like a man!"

Fallout from the Splendid FBI decision!

Photos and Parody by
Harald Hesstvedt Scharnhorst