"HUCKLEBERRY POO" PICKING!

“HUCKLEBERRY POO”

 PICKING!

     Everybody in the Pacific Northwest picked Huckleberries in the 1950’s! A mountain blueberry with a unique flavor, they grow at favorable latitudes and elevations. The size of the crop depends on winter snow pack conditions, ample spring rains and good growing weather. Near where our family lived was Huckleberry Mountain, rising out of the flatlands like a cone. The road to it was gravel; it eventually ended as a cow path at a ranch at the base of the mountain. The owners were the Gaymars as I recall. They were friendly, neighborly folks and had no problem letting us crossing their land. The climb was steep, in places rocky; mostly brushy with few trees. The big fire scar of 1910 was still visible. The top was small and flat with trees growing on three sides and the ruins of an old Forest Service Lookout tower. The berry patches below were loaded! All four of us started picking. I ate as much as I picked! The blue teeth and lips gave me away! But, I managed to get something in my container! As I was merrily picking along, I heard my mother noisily picking the other side of a large alder bush. As a twelve year old I was comforted to have her near and had no idea of what was to happen next! I said something to her, she replied with a grunt, and I wanted to know what she said! She did not reply, so I parted the brush and stared right into the face of a huge Mother Bear!  It was hard to say who was more surprised, she or me! But I must have scared the tar out of her with my loud shriek! The bucket went flying, the bear took off and I ran like the wind in the opposite direction which happened to be west going downhill. I turned around to see if she was following and suddenly my feet were swept out from under me, I landed with a crash on my backside and skidded downhill like on a rollercoaster! That’s when I noticed the smell, an acid, fermented odor which hung about me like stink! When I came to a halt I examined myself for damage and discovered I was deep in “Huckleberry Poo” from top to bottom! My foot had slipped on the biggest pile of Bear Poop in creation and I landed right in the middle of it! My left hand was a stinking mess, my pants smeared, my shirt open and my back decorated! “Ish!” said my mother when I sheepishly told her what had happened. She did not believe my “Bear Story” and thought I was goofing off! I had one “clean” hand, so I went back to picking. I tried every way to wipe that stuff off but it only made a bigger mess and me a bigger stinkeroo!

     Lunch was hard to eat with all that sweet smelling poo, but I managed. Suddenly the sky clouded up and it started to rain. Father suggested we seek shelter in the ruins, but the wind and rain tore through it like it wasn’t there. As the storm got worse and lightning and thunder split the air, we made run for the edge and down we went getting soaked to the bone. The poo got wet and made me out to be an even bigger mess! We negotiated the rocky drop-off with lightning striking a tree nearby and plunged into the brush below. By the time we straggled back to Gaymars, we looked like drowned rats!

     Mrs. Gaymar was quick to size up the situation! “Oh, Harald,” she groused, “You’ve been picking Huckleberry Poo!” She had a fire roaring in the wood stove just for us and grabbed me by the ear and hauled me into the bathroom. “Off with those clothes,” she said. “I know what boys look like. I raised a bunch of em, so let’s get you cleaned up!” After scrubbing and rubbing I was as good as new. She gave me one of her sons’ Levi’s to wear, I had no idea anybody could be that big! I practically disappeared in them! But we made it home safe and sound, my soiled clothes got cleaned and life went on. Ever since, when in the woods; I have been careful where I step. I love picking berries but will leave the “Huckleberry Poo” picking to someone else!

This enlarged story is from a future book to be published by the blogger. It features many delightful and politically incorrect stories about the life of a young immigrant to the United States!

Harald Hesstvedt Scharnhorst

           Copyright 2014