A NEW YEAR's PARODY!

 

A NEW YEAR's PARODY! 

 

Every New Year I make fun of crazy stuff that supposedly normal American people do. Not everyone is thrilled with my comments, but that's just fine. Everyone can make of their own minds! And enjoy a few laughs while you are at it!

 

Here is my New Year's "Revolutions!" posted to my GAB account.

 

My New Years “Revolutions.."

At the end of every year I sit down and think up a “list” of some 

“beneficial things” I want to accomplish this coming year…. For

instance…..

1) I resolve to wear a “backside diaper” so that my being of a 

“vulnerable age” does not result in spectacular “boom-boom”

accidents! Gotta “protect” the public!

2) I resolve to marry a Chinese “Bang-Bang” so China can have 

more influence over me! If it “works” for politicians, wanna-be 

presidents, crime families and media moguls, it oughta “work” for 

me!

3) I resolve to send an “offering” to Justice Roberts so he can make

the better decisions we need!

4) I resolve to see “Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” exhumed and

interviewed again to hear what he forgot to tell us!

5) I resolve to buy a “voting machine,” so I can “elect myself” 

president! I always wondered what it felt like to be “made” by a 

machine!

6) I resolve to vaccinate all my cats with WD-40 so they can become 

more active. My “vet” says it’s perfectly “safe!” He should know. He

is a “doctor!”

7) I resolve to “buy” as many politicians as I can afford. After all, it’s

the “rage” these days! The more I “buy,” the more “influence” I get!

8) I resolve to send a healthy check to SLACK LIVES MATTER. I 

always was partial to “slackers!”

9) I resolve to be “less racist” this year. I plan on just hating “whites”

for a change. If you are gonna “hate,” ja gotta do it right!

10) I resolve to love “queers” more this year, by sending them some 

free “closets.” I hear they are “out of them” these days….

11) I resolve to become a “doctor” so I can go on television and tell

people when to PUT ON a mask, when to TAKE IT OFF and when

to PUT IT ON again. It is such a tuff decision; you gotta know

WHEN to make it!

12) I resolve to undergo a sex-change operation so I can become 

more like Governor Whitmer and Nancy Pelosi, a couple of gorgeous

shriveled old hags who are my absolute heroes! They are incapable

of wrongdoing!

13) I resolve to spend more time cleaning chimneys, so I can look

more like Maxine Waters! If it worked for her, it might work for me!

14) I resolve to become a total “dick-tator” so I can tell people where

to go and when to do everything. The dummies can’t do anything for

themselves!

15) And finally, I resolve to do as much “damage” to the economy 

and our country as possible. It is the “in thing” to do. After all, as 

Nancy Pelosi might say, “If we don’t destroy it first, how can we 

expect to rebuild it?!”

I am sure you can think of more “sillies” to add to my list. Today’s 

“screwballs” provide us with enough examples of their sheer idiocy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, slaves!

 

 

 

 

Posted for the fun of it

by 

The Blogger 

 

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